Frith O’Steen

So I take Decker to playgroup today (he started a new summer session of Hippity Hoppers), and the teacher (same teacher we’ve had since Feb) hands me Decker’s name tag attached to one with the name “Susan” on it. I politely let her know that actually that wasn’t my name, and she asked me what my name in fact was, and I told her and had the following conversation for the umpteenth time in my life:

Playgroup Teacher: Wow, that’s unusual - I’ve never heard that before. Is it short for something?

Me: No, it’s from a movie my mom really liked starring Richard Harris called “The Snow Goose”.

PT: Do you know what it means?

Me: Well, we think it’s Welsh, and I’ve been told it means ‘fijord’. So basically I’m a big inlet of water.

PT: I’ve never met a Frith before.

Me: Yup, it was always hard to find on those license plates for your bike!

Now, I don’t mind these conversations as a rule, and of course I am a fan of unusual names (as evidenced by my choice to bestow the same conundrum on my son). But…this conversation led to the next one:

Scary Grandma Lady From Hell: I overheard your conversation…that name is really unusal! What were your parents thinking? (said with a heavy Jersey accent and a screaming 3 year old running around in the background, because she went to the wrong session and brought her grandson to the younger kids’ group and refused to leave).

Me: (Politely trying to excise myself from the conversation as soon as possible) Oh, you know - they grew up in an era of lots of Steves and Lindas, and wanted something unique…and so I did it for my son, too! (self-effacing chuckle, hoping to end it there and then). Hey Decker, are you playing in the bus? (excusing myself to get up and move away)

SGLFH: DECKER? Ohmygawd where’d you get that? Oh no, don’t tell me Black and Decker!

Me: Well, my husband likes tools, and we used to joke if we had twins that we’d name them Black and Decker, and then the name really grew on us!

SGLFH: That’s horrible - I hope you gave him a middle name he can use later in life!

Me: (Trying not to react, but just to get the heck out of there). Well, his middle name is Jacob…

SGLFH: Ohmygawd he’s gonna pick that for sure. At least you gave him an out. Me, I pick nice normal names like Nathan!

Nathan (the 3 year old): AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Me: Hey, Decker, do you want to go play with Colby and the basketballs? Ok, let’s go!

So SGLFH, I’m really glad you’re not in my playgroup as a rule. Your kid totally disrupted the circle time by being a brat and throwing a fit, you insulted my son and I, and you were just plain opinionated and creepy! Had I not been in a group of small children and moms I don’t know very well yet, I would have given you a piece of my mind for sure. Instead, I pass it on to you passive-aggressively via the magic of blogging. Yeah. So there.