The weather is finally feeling normal for this time of year! It’s sunny, it’s warm, I was able to wear shorts and a t-shirt (even in the morning!), and it was the kind of day just begging for a walk to the park. So I packed up Decker and headed to Walnut Creek for our usual circuit through Broadway Plaza and down to Civic Park. It’s actually not that big a place, but I like it because you can walk to it, it’s got a nice playground, and Decker especially likes the gazebo. (Hey, who doesn’t?).
The thing about Civic Park (well, all playgrounds, really) is that you have to time it just right. In the morning hours, the playground is pretty mellow because it’s primarily little kids (younger than preschool) and they tend to do their own thing are fairly gentle and don’t really get in each other’s way. Then, for whatever reason, the older kids start showing up at around 11 to 11:30. This would be ok, except that there tend to be more aggressive and shall we say…um…ANNOYING kids in this crowd, and they tend to play a lilttle less nicely. I especially hate to say this because when I had Decker I swore I would not play up to boy stereotypes, but the ones that drive me the most crazy are the older boys. They thunder up the steps to the slides (including the slide that’s really a toddler slide at best), they dominate the climbing rocks, they stand on top of the train and holler, and more often than I hoped I would ever see, they play with plastic guns. Too many times I have seen little commandos in their ‘fashionable’ camouflage, yelling “bang bang you’re dead!” “nuh uh” “yes huh! i totally bazooka-ed you!” and so forth. (And usually the caretakers for these charmers are on their cell phones or gabbing with each other). Thankfully Decker seems to be blissfully unaware of what’s going on, which is good because occasionally these mini-Mad Maxes pretend to aim their guns at US. For example, today we were at the top of one playstructure and Decker was going down the slide, up the stairs, down the slide, up the stairs, over and over to his heart’s content. An older boy (4? 5?) clambers up with a plastic ray gun and starts making shooting noises at us. I determinedly ignored him, and Decker simply said “airplane! bye bye airplane!” each time the little boy aimed his death toy at us. I bit my tongue and said nothing to the boy (though I so wanted to) because I didn’t want to acknowledge his behavior and encourage him with the attention (even it was negative attention). But it bugged me sooooo much. Am I being naive to thing Decker won’t go through that phase? I don’t see him using guns, because there won’t be any in our house, but he is bound to interact with other kids. What do I do when my sweet and gentle little guy starts watching his peers and some of them are not so nice? It’s sort of a sneak preview to the fears I had when I first found out Decker was going to be a boy. I know that boys and girls each come with their own challenges, but it can be so frustrating to see the behaviors that are encouraged in our society, because ‘boys will be boys’ and all that rot. I’m no idiot. I know because I have a son, that boys are their own beings. Decker is into stuff I was NEVER into as a kid. But he is also his own person, and some of the things I love most about him seem to be things that are disparaged in our culture as “sissy”. I don’t want him to change who he is, but sometimes I worry what it will bring him in the future. He is my snuggle-huggy, affectionate, book-loving, toy-organizing, puppy-dog-energy-sporting, funny, thoughtful, gentle, fruitarian. He’s just wonderful. And I wonder if (and hope) it can last, and that he’ll adjust to the world of other kids without too much drama. We’ll see. I sure am grateful for the little boy he is becoming, that’s for sure.
On a much more positive note, one of the other things I really like about Civic Park is that it has a senior center right there. I miss my grandparents a lot, and it’s sort of comforting to be in the presence of other folks their age. A really nice contrast to the aggressive little punks on the playground, they are always ready with a smile and a good morning (especially if you smile first). And more often than not, I get comments like today, from a very sweet older woman sitting on a bench. Decker and I were leaving the playground, and he was ‘helping’ pull the stroller while I pushed. The woman called out, “Miss? Your son is very coordinated! He’ll do fine in the future!”. Sweet huh? Random and I’m not sure what she meant, but sweet. Decker waved and said bye bye to her, and she waved bye bye back. Really nice. It’s my hope that from an early age Decker understands that older people are important, and that we should treat them with kindness and respect (like you would for someone any age). I think so often our grandparent’s generation gets overlooked or ignored, and they have so much to share with us. So anyway, that’s why I like Civic Park. Kinda like getting mini-doses of hanging out with my grandparents’ friends. It’s nice.
My folks and sisters are in Chicago right now - jealous am I! They are reportedly eating large amounts of meat (when in Rome…).
