Frith O’Steen

The weather is finally feeling normal for this time of year! It’s sunny, it’s warm, I was able to wear shorts and a t-shirt (even in the morning!), and it was the kind of day just begging for a walk to the park. So I packed up Decker and headed to Walnut Creek for our usual circuit through Broadway Plaza and down to Civic Park. It’s actually not that big a place, but I like it because you can walk to it, it’s got a nice playground, and Decker especially likes the gazebo. (Hey, who doesn’t?).

The thing about Civic Park (well, all playgrounds, really) is that you have to time it just right. In the morning hours, the playground is pretty mellow because it’s primarily little kids (younger than preschool) and they tend to do their own thing are fairly gentle and don’t really get in each other’s way. Then, for whatever reason, the older kids start showing up at around 11 to 11:30. This would be ok, except that there tend to be more aggressive and shall we say…um…ANNOYING kids in this crowd, and they tend to play a lilttle less nicely. I especially hate to say this because when I had Decker I swore I would not play up to boy stereotypes, but the ones that drive me the most crazy are the older boys. They thunder up the steps to the slides (including the slide that’s really a toddler slide at best), they dominate the climbing rocks, they stand on top of the train and holler, and more often than I hoped I would ever see, they play with plastic guns. Too many times I have seen little commandos in their ‘fashionable’ camouflage, yelling “bang bang you’re dead!” “nuh uh” “yes huh! i totally bazooka-ed you!” and so forth. (And usually the caretakers for these charmers are on their cell phones or gabbing with each other). Thankfully Decker seems to be blissfully unaware of what’s going on, which is good because occasionally these mini-Mad Maxes pretend to aim their guns at US. For example, today we were at the top of one playstructure and Decker was going down the slide, up the stairs, down the slide, up the stairs, over and over to his heart’s content. An older boy (4? 5?) clambers up with a plastic ray gun and starts making shooting noises at us. I determinedly ignored him, and Decker simply said “airplane! bye bye airplane!” each time the little boy aimed his death toy at us. I bit my tongue and said nothing to the boy (though I so wanted to) because I didn’t want to acknowledge his behavior and encourage him with the attention (even it was negative attention). But it bugged me sooooo much. Am I being naive to thing Decker won’t go through that phase? I don’t see him using guns, because there won’t be any in our house, but he is bound to interact with other kids. What do I do when my sweet and gentle little guy starts watching his peers and some of them are not so nice? It’s sort of a sneak preview to the fears I had when I first found out Decker was going to be a boy. I know that boys and girls each come with their own challenges, but it can be so frustrating to see the behaviors that are encouraged in our society, because ‘boys will be boys’ and all that rot. I’m no idiot. I know because I have a son, that boys are their own beings. Decker is into stuff I was NEVER into as a kid. But he is also his own person, and some of the things I love most about him seem to be things that are disparaged in our culture as “sissy”. I don’t want him to change who he is, but sometimes I worry what it will bring him in the future. He is my snuggle-huggy, affectionate, book-loving, toy-organizing, puppy-dog-energy-sporting, funny, thoughtful, gentle, fruitarian. He’s just wonderful. And I wonder if (and hope) it can last, and that he’ll adjust to the world of other kids without too much drama. We’ll see. I sure am grateful for the little boy he is becoming, that’s for sure.

On a much more positive note, one of the other things I really like about Civic Park is that it has a senior center right there. I miss my grandparents a lot, and it’s sort of comforting to be in the presence of other folks their age. A really nice contrast to the aggressive little punks on the playground, they are always ready with a smile and a good morning (especially if you smile first). And more often than not, I get comments like today, from a very sweet older woman sitting on a bench. Decker and I were leaving the playground, and he was ‘helping’ pull the stroller while I pushed. The woman called out, “Miss? Your son is very coordinated! He’ll do fine in the future!”. Sweet huh? Random and I’m not sure what she meant, but sweet. Decker waved and said bye bye to her, and she waved bye bye back. Really nice. It’s my hope that from an early age Decker understands that older people are important, and that we should treat them with kindness and respect (like you would for someone any age). I think so often our grandparent’s generation gets overlooked or ignored, and they have so much to share with us. So anyway, that’s why I like Civic Park. Kinda like getting mini-doses of hanging out with my grandparents’ friends. It’s nice.

My folks and sisters are in Chicago right now - jealous am I! They are reportedly eating large amounts of meat (when in Rome…).

Some of you may be aware that one of my favorite authors is a guy named Christopher Moore. I really owe my addiction to my friend Rebecca, who got me started on his books when Decker was still just a little bitty guy. She recommend I check out a novel of his called “Lamb”, which is about the gospel according to Biff, Christ’s childhood friend. I loved it; I was hooked. I then went on to read ever single tome of his that I could get my mitts on, and they truly helped me keep a little bit of my sanity. It was nice to know that I might be a stay at home mom in sneakers and jeans, but that I still had access to funny and thoughtful humor that let me feel like I could still use my brain cells. Plus, the guy just makes me laugh out loud.

I enjoyed his books so much that I decided to do what any fan would do - write a dorky fan letter and tell him how much I liked his work. Imagine my surprise when he wrote me back, with a very personal and funny little response - the same day! How cool is that? I was so psyched that I included it in my blog (check the archives, sometime back in 2004). How awesome is that?

So when I saw that he was going to be launching his latest book, “A Dirty Job”, from a bookstore right in SF - I knew I had to go. I mentioned it to my dad, and he said he’d like to join me, but only if he could buy me dinner (no problem there!). Count in mom as well, and I had a fun date night set up with my folks - who I rarely get all to myself, so that was cool!

Anyway, we get to the bookstore, and I buy my precious brandnew hardback edition of “A Dirty Job”, and then we head on in to the kids’ section where the chairs were set up for the evening. I thought it was gonna be really crowded, but it was just the right size and you could totally hear and see everything close up. While the owner was introducing him, Christopher Moore was hanging out in the doorway to the storeroom in the back, and kept holding up stuffed toys like a little goofy puppet show. I wonder if doing these things make him kinda nervous? Or maybe he’s just super silly. (Would make a lot of sense). So he gets up and talks about all sorts of stuff that went into the subject matter of this book, like the concept of Beta Males and dealing with death, and touring around SF and the like. What I really dug is that he strikes me as this very genuine, smart, funny, wry and sincere guy - I think I would totally dig talking with him. It’s so cool that he didn’t cop any attitude or act like he was too cool to actually connect with his audience.

When he was done, I lined up with my folks to get my book signed, and when it was my turn to step up, I lost my mind and went into complete insane fan mode. Mom and Dad tell me I came across as coherent, but in my head it sounded a lot like this: “Hi I’m a slobbering fan and I started reading your stuff when my son was born and you kept me sane and I’ve read all your stuff multiple times and I wrote you once and told you all this and thanked you for your awesome books and then you sent me a goofy little poem ala Dr Seuss and that just really meant a lot to me and I just wanted to say thank you and you’re so awesome!!!!”. Or something along those lines. Now, I figured he would just give me a strange look (wouldn’t you?) and sign my book and then move on. But - he said thank you really nicely and sincerely, and shook my hand and said that was fun to hear and then told me to write when I finished the book and then signed “To Frith - Thanks, Christopher Moore”. He also said he dug my name, and asked me where it was from and so then I pointed to my parents and said, “You can ask them!”. So my mom steps up and tells him how much she really enjoyed his shared experiences about dealing with the death of parent and such, and it how it really touched her, and he was super cool to her, too! My dad made some jokes about the names of my other two sisters (”It seemed like a good idea at the time”), and he laughed and said we should start a support group for kids with weird names. Hee.

I just have to say - I think authors are awesome - they are so fun to listen to and the good ones actually connect with their readers and fans and come across as very down to earth and human. I walk away from stuff like that wanting to go home and start writing, even though I hold no illusions that I would ever be published or what not (except for this humble little corner of cyberspace). But I especially dug that a guy like Christopher Moore, with tons of fans and a busy schedule of his own, took the time to shake my hand and thank me for my raving adoration of his book. And was a honestly cool dude about it. So, thank you Christopher Moore. You made my night and you definitely are a chill and funny person. I will continue to buy all your books and to spread your name among family and friends. You have a following in the east bay suburbs, at any rate!

So, readers of past entries in the Frith and Decker blog universe will perhaps recall that my son in loopy and loco for fruit. Sadly, he is particularly loopy and loco for fruit that is seasonal, so we can’t always get it for him. But the great thing about that is - when it does come back into season, he is so beside himself that he literally can be motivated to do anything you ask for the promised reward of fruit - specifically, strawberries and blueberries. I blame this addiction largely on his grandpa, my dad. The man is just silly for fruit. And he knows that my little guy is nuts for it too, so he always has some sort of special treat for him when we come over. (Plums, grapes, berries, you name it). It’s actually very sweet - I think sometimes Decker has been intimidated by my dad because of his size, but the two of them have truly bonded over nature’s bounty. Decker knows if he brings an orange to his grandpa that he will peel it for him, and the other night he was willing to do tricks for pieces of strawberry hidden in my dad’s hand! (ie: “Decker - can you be a scarecrow - you can have some strawberry…”, whereupon the child’s arms stick straight out practically before the sentence is finished!).

It is a good motivator though - but you have to be sure you have the goods on hand before you say their name! Today I told Decker it was lunch time and we were gonna have strawberries but we had to put all his toys away first (we were outside). You have never seen a toddler move so swiftly to put away bikes and wagons. He then sat promptly down with his little legs sitting straight out, calling “sooooooos, OFF, mama!” (shoes off, now mommy!). We go inside, and he streaks for the highchair, chanting “sahbeddah” over and over, and I go to the fridge to find….no strawberries. WHAT? I just bought some last night? Where are they where are they where are they? Sean put the groceries away, but maybe I forgot them in the shopping cart? Oh man I am practically ready to load the kid back in the car to go the store just to procure the promised produce, for I know the disappointment and angst that awaits me if I don’t cough them up right now. I call Sean, and he reassures me that he simply had put them in a hard to spot place for Decker (and his mom, thanks very much!). Ok, apoplectics fits averted - strawberries for all!

Kid still won’t eat cheese, peanut butter, or meat - but dang he loves his fruit. No scurvy in this house!

So a couple of weekends ago, I went with my family to catch the Upright Citizens Brigade at the SF Sketchfest over at the Eureka Theatre. The show was awesome - they are so damn funny. I’d gotten to see them once before at their regular location (a theatre under the Gristedi’s grocery store in NY), and it was really cool to see them again. Rachel Dratch and Amy Poehler are hi-larious. Very funny women. (And quick on their feet! Much more fun to watch than the disastrous planned improvs of high school drama days gone by).

Anyway, we had parked in the Embarcadero area, and we were walking over to the Ferry Building to meet my sisters, when we crossed over through the little park across the street from Safeway. From a couple of blocks away, we could hear what sounded exactly like someone jumping up and down on a big box of squeaky toys (which would be my idea for a performance art piece, albeit probably not a very good one). We get closer and realize that the trees there are jam-packed with bright green parrots! I thought they only hung out at the Filbert Steps, but they must be moving out to the birdie suburbs because there were over 100 of them, easily, and they were squawking and picking all the cherry tree blossoms clean off of the trees. I love SF - no way would you see that anywhere else!

Are grumpy. And goopy. And cuddly (so it’s not all bad). And bad sleepers at night(well, so that part sucks). It is pretty funny to watch a little kid try to learn to blow their nose, though. (Sean: “Decker, can you blow into the tissue?” Decker: “BBBBBB” (blows a raspberry into the tissue, leaving us with a damp hand and him still with a runny nose)).

So…I’m a dork and I like to travel overly prepared which means I always bring extraneous stuff like Decker’s medical book etc. Normally, we keep his immunization record in the medical book, and I take it out when we fly (so we won’t lose it). This past trip to Utah however, I forgot to take it out of the book, and I did, in fact, lose the immunization record in transit home to Oakland. I had resigned myself to the idea of having to go through the hassle of getting a new one, and mad at myself for being such a dunce with the last one. Imagine my surprise when I recieved an envelope from our pediatrician’s office last week, containing…Decker’s immunization record, and a letter from Southwest Airlines saying “Our staff found this on one of our planes, can you please return it to the parents?”. A) I’m really impressed that SWA did that, and B) I’m impressed that our pediatrician’s office was so obliging! Who says customer service is dead? (And yes, I suppose it is a little sad that I find stuff like that so cool!)

The title of this is sadly somewhat misleading, as winter breaks are of course a thing of yesteryear. But - the holiday season was full of lots of fun this and thats, so we’ll pretend I took a break nonetheless and here we go…

While in Utah, we went snow shoeing, which was good times as always, but was particularly enhanced by the fact that that was the day that Decker decided to officially bust out with “Ma Ma”! I melted on the spot, and promised him anything he wanted. Dad and Sean also went skiiing one day, and despite near white-out conditions, they apparently enjoyed themselves all the same. Dad and Sean left on a Tuesday, and then we girls all stuck around until Saturday - the same routine, which involves working on upkeeping the house, watching lots of episodes of tv on dvd, and just being goofy with little guy. A nice way to relax, and Decker definitely has a ball hanging out with his aunties and Pammy. (Extra adults to pay attention to him means a little break for his mom, which is very nice as well!).

And now it’s January and despite the rain I am loving a CA winter - everything is green and the temp is mild…my kind of place!

Happy New Year, all!

PS: Here’s a joke to start the New Year right:
What did the Zen master say to the hot dog vendor?
Make me one with everything! HAAAA!

Decker likes to wake up rather early, and that means of course that I will then need to be awake as well. Being awake and being upright are two separate things, and so the compromise we have reached is for me to get him some juice and then he lays on the sofa with me while we watch Sesame Street. Until recently, Decker liked to stretch out on top of me and just kinda doze and cuddle. But the last few days, he snuggles in next to me (both heads on my pillow), and then reaches his little arm around my neck and pulls my head to his chest! It’s so funny - I don’t know if I am filling the role of a stuffed animal or if he just likes playing with my hair or what - but it’s very sweet, if not a little hard on the neck!

So Sean and I went to see “Goblet of Fire” at the midnight show on Thursday night (opening night). And…it was REALLY good. And…we were the only ones there not in highschool or chaperoning highschool students. Very strange to hear all conversations around you primarily focused on how badly you think you messed up on the vocab test that day. (For the guy behind us who admitted to/bragged about (hard to tell) getting a ‘D’ on the last quiz - perhaps being at a midnight movie on a school night was not the best idea? Just saying…).

Anyway - the movie was great and overall I was quite pleased with this latest interpretation. Of course, being a die-hard fan I had some things I would have changed, but the entire product in its whole was great and the acting is the best it’s ever been.

Then I went to see it a second time last night - and going in and being able to appreciate it as just a film (without looking to compare it to the book) - it was like 10 times better! I recommend everyone see it twice at least, so that they can thoroughly enjoy the nuances and details. I plan to see it one more time in IMAX as well - should be fantastic!

Now I’m re-reading book 6, and of course Sean has me addicted to the “Pottercasts” from Leaky Cauldron (podcasts from my favorite website) which poor Decker is being subjected to in the car. (Hey, after listening to “Bert’s Blockbusters” ad infinitum, I think it’s my turn to pick what’s on the radio!). Heh. What can I say? HP is a phenomenon among millions for a reason!

It’s here! It’s here! “Goblet of Fire” (or GOF, for those who enjoy the same geeky fansites that I do) opens tonight at midnight, and Sean and I are going to pretend to be our former childless selves for one evening and attend said late-night viewing! Decker will be slumbering at my folks’ place, none the wiser that his mom and dad are having a blast at the biggest movie event of the year! (YES - bigger than the last Star Wars!).

The tix have already been fandangoed and picked up, and now it’s just a matter of waiting in line and getting a good seat! This film looks like it could be the best yet in the series, and book 4 is still my fave of the 6 so far, so this promises nothing but good times. My only concern - I hope we can stay awake! It’s 2 hours 30 minutes!

Must start pounding the diet soda….