Decker was unfazed. He ran out onto the playground to have fun with his friends and play on the tricycles and climb the alligator slide. Me? I went up to say thank you to his class aide and one of the other teachers one last time, and I found myself getting weepy like a big ol’ doofus. (Mind you, I already made a big soggy mess of myself back in June at Decker’s ‘graduation’ ceremony for this same class - one would think I’d done all the parting tears that a preschool deserves!). But no - I starting choking up all over again!

Why? I didn’t realize it was gonna hit me this hard to say goodbye to D’s school. But it has been a major part of our lives for the past 2 years, and I guess I was getting emotional both out of sentiment and also (and mostly) out of pride for Decker over how far he’s come since August of ‘06. On that first day of school, he walked up very bravely holding mine and his dad’s hands, wearing his ‘big kid backpack’ from Aunt Katil, and vaguely aware of what happens at school thanks to Elmo and some books at our house. When we left him that morning sitting quietly playing with cars on the playmat, his dad and I kept it together until we got to the car, and then I BAWLED. This was the first time I’d let someone who wasn’t family be responsible for Decker! Yes, it was a small group instruction class for other kids with speech delays/issues, but how would he cope? He didn’t say very much and it wasn’t usually very clear - at least to folks besides his parents - would he make friends? Would he have fun? Would he be scared and wonder where I had gone?

As any parent who has sent a kid off to preschool knows, the kid does absolutely fine. Yes, he cried for the first few weeks (as did many), but he also participated and learned new things and practiced his speech and most importantly got the idea that school is cool. School is fun. And your teacher is an awesome grownup to look up to and listen to. Decker was lucky enough to have the same teachers for both years - Ms. Lori and Ms. Patti. And because of the attentive eye of Ms. Lori, who clearly loves what she does and is really good at it, we were able to obtain all sorts of extra help for Decker. She was able to see where he had particular needs at school, and brought them to our attention and then gave us the tools to help him work on those challenges. One of our shared goals with Lori was to help Decker become more social with his peers - and by the end of this year, as we went home this final day of the school year, all the kids in his class were calling out “Bye Decker!”. One little guy, Jesse, even gave him a hug and told him, “I’ll miss you next year, Decker!”. Gulp. I have a lump in my throat as I write that. What a sweet and amazing group of little kids - open, accepting, and caring.

I think back to the silent little boy who tentatively went to school each day that fall of two years ago,  vs. the gregarious and happy big kid who ran every day out of the front doors of the school to give me a hug. What a change. Now Decker will voluntarily tell me about his day. He’ll talk about his friends. He shares funny stories. His speech has improved so much. I could not have envisioned that two years ago. What a huge change. I deliberately didn’t mention the name of Decker’s school while he was going there, because you can never be too careful, but it feels wonderful to finally be able to say: Thank You, Gregory Gardens (Robert Shearer) Preschool! Thank you Ms. Lori, Ms. Patti, Maggie in the motor room, and all the other amazing teachers who work there! It’s a little school that serves a huge district and a huge need, and the love and faith that the staff who work there have for all the students is both palpable and inspiring. More than once since Decker started there, I have thought about looking into special education when I eventually head back to the work world. It’s an incredible group to be involved in, and I am so grateful for everything we experienced while our son was there.

By the way - congrats, Decker - welcome to Summer Vacation! Swim School starts next Monday.

Anyway, the one part I usually never get through is the fiction section, because they usually make me sad, plus they usually seem to not really go anywhere. (well, sometimes they get made into feature length films). but they seem to usually follow some sort of formula, and I think maybe I could get published if I can recreate it just right. so, with the greatest affection and respect for my favorite magazine in the world (tied with Entertainment Weekly), here’s what i would contribute:

Pieces of Cake - A Story

The girl walked outside. It was sunny, but not really too sunny. She had a plate of cupcakes with her. Not a full cake, but like little pieces of cake. She saw her childhood friend, back from school. He walked with a stranger. Russian? Korean? Who could say. She thought of bygone times. She thought of the future. She realized that she would always be disaffected and sad, no matter what. She offered her cupcakes to the couple (were they a couple? they seemed happy, but who can really ever tell?). It started to rain. They each took a cupcake. They walked on, for they had remembered to bring umbrellas. The girl thought that strange. Then she realized she was wet. She went inside. She made some more cupcakes. She would not frost this batch this time. No, not this time.

Think Ang Lee will be calling anytime soon? I visualize Maggie Gyllenhall as The Girl.

The countdown to Christmas has begun. He continues to ask me when it will time to open the presents. And then goes back to report the results to his baby brother. The two of them have been pretty good together, considering they’ve been stuck inside quite a bit with various bugs and rainy days. Sutter’s quite mobile, so he tries to do EVERYTHING that Decker does, and most of the time Decker is a good sport about it. Last night they started squabbling over a toy phone and the next thing we knew, they were playing ‘follow the leader’ in an impromptu game, running circles around the couch, with Decker as the ‘leader’, pulling on the phone receiver, and Sutter bringing up the rear, grabbing onto the pull string and laughing his head off.

And Sutter has a new game - if you wink at him, he blinks his eyes very deliberately back at you and then grins - such a flirt. Very cute.

Until again, faithful readers…

Decker, explaining Christmas to his baby brother on the way to preschool: “So we have to go to sleep, and then Santa comes down the chim-a-nee, and hides presents under our Christmas tree, and then he takes the carrots back up to the roof for the reindeer, and then he has milk and cookies, because that’s how he does!”

“Stop making my nose smell your food”

“The Grinch won’t steal OUR Xmas tree (?)”

“I love Xmas! Sometimes I hate Xmas and it makes me grumpy. But today I LOVE Xmas!”

“Mommy, you can come downstairs with me and have juice tomorrow morning, because you are my friend”

“Sutter, stop playing! It’s sleepytime” (this, after having wound his little brother up with multiple rounds of ‘throw and fetch the toys from the bed’)

Decker, do you remember where Santa lives?  “On the roof!”

“We’ll give Santa carrots to bring up to the reindeer on the roof. But not oats, because they don’t taste very good”

(Pulling my hair up into two tufts on either side) “Mommy, you look like a fox!” (hey, I’ll take that one!)

“All of us, all of us smell…” (attempting to sing along to “Rainbow Connection”)

This child has lost his mind this Xmas season, and is nuts for all the stuff. Particularly the advent calendar, tree ornaments, and battery-operated singing Rudolph toy. He cuddles it in a near-hypnotic state, and plays it over and over and over and over and over and over and over. And yes, Sutter adores it too.

Decker: Sutter, I want to ask you a question. I love you in the whole wide world! I love you so much in the whole wide world!

Sutter: Phhhhbbbbb

Decker is such a great big brother. Yes, he’s 4 and therefore can drive me nuts. But then he says stuff like that completely unprompted, and I just wanna pop I am so proud of him. No wonder Sutter worships his brother like he’s the sun and moon and stars and everything else in between. I can’t even be jealous, cuz it’s just awesome.

(the other benefit of all the bath footage, of course, is extra blackmail material for when they go to prom someday).

First of all - cats and/or other predatory creatures suck. They just do.  Right after I posted about the sweet little birdies that had hatched in our hanging basket, something ate them! All I could find were sad little gray pinfeathers on the ground - Mother Nature can sure be harsh! So I will never allow myself to get attached to little critters again! (On the other hand, I then recently saw a mouse -TWICE - run by our sliding glass door along the patio - to which I say, “At ‘em, cats!”.)

Now…on to my life lately. It is all about preschool, preschool, preschool. Decker is attending his speech program again this year (and very happy to be back!), but also will be starting an additional school that will run concurrently. This wouldn’t seem so complicated, except they are on very different schedules! So one school goes MWF in the mornings, and the other runs T-F in the early afternoons. So each day is going to differ where we are, whether we are in a hurry to get from Walnut Creek to Pleasant Hill, and whether or not I am co-oping that day or not! It’s gonna be crazy for a while, I get the feeling! But I’m psyched for Decker, and I think he will enjoy both experiences. I’m psyched for me, too. I kinda miss the whole community/committee thing (much as I may gripe about long-running meetings), so I think it will be enjoyable for me too. If I can remember where the heck I’m supposed to be that day!

For those who haven’t had the opportunity to try a Jasper Fforde book yet, trust me - just read it!

Saturday morning - Where’s my book? Where’s my book? Oh where oh where is my book? Sean takes Sutter with him, and goes to the UPS store (where it was due to arrive, although we didn’t know when) and waits there for almost 2 HOURS for it to arrive! (Out of fairness to me, I did take Decker to get his haircut that morning - but still!). Then, when the book made its way into my eager lil’ paws, Sean bid me farwell and sent me off to Tully’s place for some uninterrupted reading poolside. Katil and Tully each got their copies very quickly after I did, and we spent the next 6 hours reading in silence, puncuated only with gasps or giggles. The book doesn’t disappoint - it starts off with a bang on page 1. Sooo good!

Saturday night - I return home, resigned to having to spread out the pace of my reading, as I do have kids to feed etc, responsibilities and whatnot. Sean however, instructs me to go hide with the book as soon as I can, and I get to read until about 2 am that morning. (Stopped to nurse Sutter, but it was for the best - my eyes were drooping).

Sunday - chat with Tully and discover that she and Katil are ahead of me - DOH! Sadly, I realize I won’t be able to pore through this last book nonstop, as two little boys tend to not give you that much uninterrupted time to yourself. Sean has to work that day, so I figure I will grap snatches here and there in the coming evenings, staying up way too late. But wait! Decker and Sutter and I go to dinner at my folks, and my sisters walk in, having finished the book just minutes before! Argh! I am distraught! And then…Tully tells me she brought her book with her, goes out to the car go get it, hands it to me, and then she and Katil and Dad take the boys upstairs and give me the next 2 1/2 hours to finish the book all by myself in peace and quiet and wonderful wonderful suspense!

Between Saturday and Sunday - what a gift of time you all gave me. It was perfect, and the book is everything I could have hoped for and more. I can’t wait to read it again and again! Thank you to my reading pit crew! And JK Rowling - I salute you. You have created a work of fiction that I think will never be equaled. I feel so lucky to have been able to be a part of the original generation to get to read them. Now PLEASE PLEASE write an eighth one! It can be an encyclopedia, that would be just fine! But I want to know more! Please oh pretty please!