Frith O’Steen

Amazon, you sure as heck better come through!

I got a chance to hang out with good bud Rebecca last night, and as always I knew I could count on her to find something fun and interesting for us to do. Sean and Decker and I joined her and her hubby Todd at the International Market in Emeryville for dinner, and after Decker got hopped up on “full sin” juice and cheerios, and had had his fill of running around and exploring the entire food court, I let his lucky dad take him home (heh) and then I took off to see the Burning Man Art Preview at The Crucible in Oakland. (Wow, I think that sentence just ran on longer than Proust!).

What is The Crucible?, one may ask. (I did). It’s an unbelievable huge warehouse that serves as the home to an arts collaborative, where they teach classes in all sorts of cool stuff, from arc welding to glass blowing to wood working to jewelry making. They had 3 different sections for welding, depending on whether it was TIG, MIG, or arc. The size of this place was outstanding, and it seemed really neat. They teach both adult and children’s classes, and you could go and learn how to fix up your motorcycle, or build a canoe, or pretty much anything you can think of. It used to be located next to Urban Ore on Ashby, but now it’s on 7th in West Oakland. So we toured around the warehouse, and then settled in to listen to a few of the better-known Burning Man artists come up and talk about their art, how they make it, what inspires them, and what people can look forward to seeing at this year’s festival. I was floored - I knew Burning Man is a big deal and that thousands of people go, but I didn’t really ever comprehend the sheer magnitude of the art that is brought there. Giant temples made of recycled wood pieces, big enough for people to walk around inside. Sculptures that feature 22,000 lb granite slabs and boulders, which are suspended by cables and which people can climb on and hang from while they spin on ropes. 30 foot high welded sculptures of a mother and her child, which will be spouting fire and water, and symbolize the sharing of experience and wisdom. It was really really really cool, and you can tell these folks are so passionate about what they do and also have a fun time doing it. The engineer who’s working on the suspended boulders sculpture got up and was wearing these tight leopard print pants, a tux dinner jacket, and a mohawk…and he sounded brilliant - I loved it.  I got a better glimpse as to what Rebecca has been up to all these years, and I can see why she cares about it so much.

So, very different than stuff you typically see around here in quiet lil’ ol’ Pleasant Hill. It was a nice night out, and fun to be around such a energetic and creative group. I didn’t get to see anything actually burn, but if I had, I sure looked from the pictures like it would have been cool!

If you have to ask what is happening in one week, then you really don’t know me very well!

I can’t believe the 6th  book is actually (almost) here! I cannot wait to get reading and then re-reading - and given the fact that having Decker around means I don’t really get to read unless it’s late at night, then I know for a fact I’m gonna be having some major book-hangovers in the coming days. It’s all worth it though!

Can’t wait can’t wait can’t wait!

And if you are a fellow HP fan and are also reading it straightaway - please DO NOT tell me anything! I do not want to hear any spoilers or what not! I’ll be happy to discuss it a month from now…but not until then!

Until the 16th rolls around, I’ll have to make do with some New Yorker articles and such. I finished “Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell” about 2 weeks ago, and it was good but then I wanted to cleanse my palate (as it was a book about magic in England as well), so I read “Daughter’s Keeper” and “Assassination Vacation”, and they were both very good and very different and now I am ready and prepped for more magic and the genius that is JKR. (JKR trumps JRR - sorry rabid LOTR fans! Please don’t hate me!).

I do recommend “Daughter’s Keeper” and “Assassination Vacation”, by the way. Both writers are very good with words and descriptions, and Sarah Vowell made me laugh out loud!

So I take Decker to playgroup today (he started a new summer session of Hippity Hoppers), and the teacher (same teacher we’ve had since Feb) hands me Decker’s name tag attached to one with the name “Susan” on it. I politely let her know that actually that wasn’t my name, and she asked me what my name in fact was, and I told her and had the following conversation for the umpteenth time in my life:

Playgroup Teacher: Wow, that’s unusual - I’ve never heard that before. Is it short for something?

Me: No, it’s from a movie my mom really liked starring Richard Harris called “The Snow Goose”.

PT: Do you know what it means?

Me: Well, we think it’s Welsh, and I’ve been told it means ‘fijord’. So basically I’m a big inlet of water.

PT: I’ve never met a Frith before.

Me: Yup, it was always hard to find on those license plates for your bike!

Now, I don’t mind these conversations as a rule, and of course I am a fan of unusual names (as evidenced by my choice to bestow the same conundrum on my son). But…this conversation led to the next one:

Scary Grandma Lady From Hell: I overheard your conversation…that name is really unusal! What were your parents thinking? (said with a heavy Jersey accent and a screaming 3 year old running around in the background, because she went to the wrong session and brought her grandson to the younger kids’ group and refused to leave).

Me: (Politely trying to excise myself from the conversation as soon as possible) Oh, you know - they grew up in an era of lots of Steves and Lindas, and wanted something unique…and so I did it for my son, too! (self-effacing chuckle, hoping to end it there and then). Hey Decker, are you playing in the bus? (excusing myself to get up and move away)

SGLFH: DECKER? Ohmygawd where’d you get that? Oh no, don’t tell me Black and Decker!

Me: Well, my husband likes tools, and we used to joke if we had twins that we’d name them Black and Decker, and then the name really grew on us!

SGLFH: That’s horrible - I hope you gave him a middle name he can use later in life!

Me: (Trying not to react, but just to get the heck out of there). Well, his middle name is Jacob…

SGLFH: Ohmygawd he’s gonna pick that for sure. At least you gave him an out. Me, I pick nice normal names like Nathan!

Nathan (the 3 year old): AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Me: Hey, Decker, do you want to go play with Colby and the basketballs? Ok, let’s go!

So SGLFH, I’m really glad you’re not in my playgroup as a rule. Your kid totally disrupted the circle time by being a brat and throwing a fit, you insulted my son and I, and you were just plain opinionated and creepy! Had I not been in a group of small children and moms I don’t know very well yet, I would have given you a piece of my mind for sure. Instead, I pass it on to you passive-aggressively via the magic of blogging. Yeah. So there.

Yeah, ok so the title of this post is from a very silly SNL sketch from like 3 years ago, but it’s stuck in my head so there you go!

Yup, I had a birthday this weekend and now I’m 32! I’ve been driving for 16 years, I’m now truly a “thirtysomething”, and I’m divisible by 8 and 4. It was a fun weekend - my parents were thoughtful enough to have me on a day that typically winds up somewhere during Memorial Day festivities, which meant I often got the day off of school or work (well, except when I worked at CalSO for 3 years) and more importantly so did my family and friends. (It’s not as much fun to just celebrate by yourself, although it does generally guarantee a larger portion of cake just for you).

Saw lots of folks over the three days, and then on the actual day itself (May 30, for those keeping track of such things) I went with Sean, Decker, my dad and sisters to Golden Gate Park for a picnic and then rowing around Stow Lake. So fun! Although, I will say that Decker didn’t seem to think so, at least for the first part of the boat ride. But once we distracted him with pretzels and put in the front of the boat with his daddy (thanks for rowing, Tully!) then he was good to go. The weather in SF was gorgeous - man, what a beautiful city.

Ended the day with yummy dinnner and presents at my folks’ place - birthdays are so great! You get to set desserts on fire, rip boxes open, and just be really silly. Case in point: the marshmallow gun I received from Sean. I believe there are still soft little bits of sweet white shrapnel all over my parents’ living room!

There are lots of things you don’t know about parenthood until you become a parent yourself. Your own kid’s bodily fluids don’t gross you out (but others’ do). You can get by on little to no sleep. You can lift enormous weights as needed. And the dating scene starts all over again once you go out in public with your child.

For me to keep my sanity, and give Decker a chance to run off some energy, I try to take him out somewhere once a day - usually a walk through Walnut Creek and a trip to the playground at Civic Park, or going to his weekly playgroup at the community center, or hanging out in front of our house where he can play with his toys in the driveway. And without fail, I have discovered that we mommies (particularly the SAHM variety) are a chatty lot, who seem to always be on the prowl for a (play)date! It’s really funny! Typical scenario: Decker and I are once again at the choo choo train in Civic Park. He’s hanging out, doing his thing (which usually means perching on the little bench inside the engine, balancing his truck on the front of the train, and peering out at other kids and smiling). A little boy (it’s almost always moms of boys!) about Decker’s age (give or take 2-3 months either way) will come wandering over and climb on board as well. The dialogue goes like this:

Me: Look, Decker, here’s another big kid! (They’re all still babies, but I think they like to think they’re big kids! Might as well stroke the ego a bit!). Can you say hi?

Decker:

Me: Hey, looks like they’re gonna drive the train for us! Where do you think we’ll go?

Decker:

Other kid: Babble babble Mommy something or other

Other kid’s Mom: Hey, (fill in the blank, usually something like Colton, Parker, Taylor, etc), look at you drive the train! Where we will we go? Will we go visit (fill in the blank, usually Daddy, Grandma, etc). Can you say hi to the little boy?

Other kid:

Decker:

Other kid’s Mom: So, how old is your little boy?

And so it begins. It’s the ultimate pick-up line! Once you’ve established ages, you can then begin chatting about your kids’ commonalities, complimenting their names and outfits, and so forth. Usually in the playground, it’s like having a brief conversation to help break up the day, and then one of the kids wanders off (usually the other kid, Decker seems to like to stay put) and the mom leaves with them. The caveat to this is if you have a chance to see this mom again (ie: a regular at playgroup or a neighbor from across the way). Then, the conversations move from initial flirting to the potential of an actual date. Dialogue may go something like this:

Me: Hi, (fill in the blank of the kid’s name, which you always remember better than the actual mom’s name)! How are you today?

Other kid: Mommy, (fill in the blank for name of toy)!

Other kid’s mom: That’s right, duck! (or train, etc; fill in name of toy). Can you say hi to Decker?

Other kid:

Me: Decker, can you say hi?

Decker:

The kids proceed to play, while the moms chat in between chasing their kids around the room/driveway, exhorting them to play nice and share (when in reality they’re parallel playing anyway).

Other kid’s mom: So, how’s he doing?

Me: Oh, we’re doing great. He’s getting closer to really talking/keeping us on our toes/teething (pick one).

Other kid’s mom: Oh, I know (empathizes over whatever I offered up conversationally about Decker).

Other kid’s mom: Chit chat

Me: Chit Chat

Other kid’s mom: You know, we should get together sometime! We’re always free if Decker wants to play!

Me: Yeah, that sounds neat!

Other kid and Decker:

Ok, now it’s awkward b/c if you don’t make plans right then, it’s like someone asked you on a date and showed they liked you, and now evertime after that, there’s that weirdness. You didn’t accept right away, which doesn’t mean you won’t ever, it just means you didn’t make plans right then. But you worry that they feel rejected, and you hope they ask you again but you also hope they don’t because that would involve extra effort of picking a day, planning something, figuring out what to wear (for the kid and yourself)…oy. You wonder if you should make the next move, or if you should wait and see if they call you….

Poor Decker - he was born to a mom who was never very good at the dating scene!

Yay! I know that summer technically doesn’t start for another month or so, but it really feels like it’s arrived full force this week. And the heat’s been here a short enough while to still feel welcome and novel, rather than exhausting and overwhelming. Decker and I have changed our routine accordingly (I can’t exactly take him out to the playground in 90 degree weather!), and have been doing our morning walk/visit to the park in the mornings, and switching his naptimes to afternoons. It’s been fun to walk through Walnut Creek in the morning, because it’s quieter and a nice temperature and you can smell all the restaurants starting up their kitchens to get ready for the lunchtime crowds and all the moms and kids out at that time are Decker’s age, so they tend to be gentler and less pushy on the play equipment. (If I hear one more kid say “You can’t play here - this is OUR (fill in the blank, ie: spaceship, train, etc)…I will lose it! Do they say it because their moms aren’t right there? Or do they do that in front of their parents as well? I get spoiled at Hippity Hoppers - all the moms there bend over backwards to make sure their kid isn’t the rude one - as a result we have a roomful of toddlers who are probably very confused that all the moms are encouraging them to share, even if the other kid only glanced at the toy in question! Heh).

It’s nice to go on these walks, because they also remind me of walking around Corvallis when I was a student up at Oregon State. I really enjoyed going out and walking around the downtown on weekends and in the summer, especially because it was kind of quiet and it was a pleasant set of streets to meander down while I got some exercise to boot. I liked doing the same thing in Arcata, too. I dunno, there’s something very comforting and familiar about the smells and sounds and sights…I really like going on walks. They’re nice in the late summer evening as well, after a hot day and now the temperature is just right and the shadows are long and everything just feels very relaxed. Even when I was working CalSO, I really enjoyed when I needed to walk across campus for something or other in the evening…sort of a magic twilight hour where it was nice to just relax and breathe deep and not really think about anything. It’s one of your cheesier songs I grant you, but “Summer Breeze“ always pops into my head during evenings like that.

Best part of all about a summer day at home with Decker? When Sean comes home early and surprises me with a nice cold slurpy drink! Yesh!

So last weekend when Sean and Decker headed up to Loomis for a visit with Sean’s mom Trudi, I stayed behind and had a grand ol’ time being solo. (See previous entry for just HOW grand a time I had!). Part of that grandness included a yummy and entertaining dinner at a new restaurant in Lafayette called “Lily’s”, which specializes in Beijing cuisine. When my folks had eaten there a couple of weeks before, they had seen on the menu that you can order a item called “Clay Chicken”, which takes 8 hours(!) to prepare, so you have to call in your order the night before. Dad thought this sounded fascinating, so we made a date for me, my folks and my sisters to meet there for dinner on Friday night.

The food there was sooooo good. Not too heavy, and according to Katil and Tully (who have traveled there a few times themselves) pretty authentic to what they are used to seeing in restaurants in Hong Kong, Beijing, etc. But not only was the food really good, the waiter was really cool. He served up all our plates to us, including the appetizers, and did it quite artfully using 3 spoons each time! He also had a good sense of humor. Everything was delicious, but the Clay Chicken was outstanding. They brought out what looked like an enormous round loaf of bread, which they then broke apart (and threw away, much to my dad’s chagrin - he kept saying, “they could have left it with me! all i need is a little butter!” - heh), and revealed a round foil covered mound underneath. After carefully unwrapping the foil (this was a 2 man project at one point, especially b/c it was so hot), you see there was a whole chicken wrapped in lotus leaves (which smelled DIVINE). After taking off the lotus leaves, you saw a stuffed chicken (including the head and legs still attached - yes, “Christmas Story” comments were made at the table), which the waiter then proceeded to carve up and serve to us. I have never had such tender meat in my life. And the flavoring of the lotus leaves added a new element - almost like anise - very tasty!

Follow up that amazing supper with a yummy dessert of sugared fried banana slices (so warm and gooey on the inside!) that Tully assured us she had seen several times over in China, and we were full and happy campers! I never get to do stuff like that, and it was great! Good food, and no worries about having to keep an eye on anyone dropping food or making a mess! (Well, there WAS Dad, as Katil pointed out…)

Ah, the flashbacks….mmmmm…food coma….

So for the first time since Decker was born, I have the house to myself this weekend. Sean and the little guy went up to Loomis yesterday for a couple of days at Trudi’s house (they walked in a 5K this morning, I believe it was a walk-a-thon benefitting community groups in the area) and I am a bachelorette until tomorrow (Sunday) afternoon. So how did I spend my free time? Well, first I cried for about 5 minutes when they left (it was actually hard to say goodbye! I then had to laugh b/c it was pretty funny!). Then I lay down for a quick snooze and woke up 2 hours later! Woo hoo! I proceeded to wander around my very quiet house, and even allowed myself a chance to read and be extremely lazy. It was awesome. Finished off the day with an AMAZING dinner at a Chinese restaurant in Lafayette with my folks (more on the meal in another entry - it deserves its own post), and then went over to my folks’ and watched the complete uncut version of Sound of Music, which is so much better in its full context (I saw a lot of stuff that must have been cut to fit the tv version), but is also about 12 hours long! (or felt like it). Anyway, I sang along with gusto, and then headed home around midnight.

Having satisfied my need to veg, I woke up at 8 am this morning (after a couple of false starts, where I woke up at Decker’s normal rise and shine hour, and then realized I didn’t have to get up!), and was a new woman! I read the paper, took a shower, and then realized it was 9 am and I was itching to do something - I had all this newly discovered energy! I put on some music, the soundtrack to “Mama Mia“, to be excact, and CRANKED it. So…the best visual I can give you: remember the “Family Ties” episode where Alex is taking Mallory’s friend’s diet pills so he can stay up and get more done? And he gets even more and more frenzied? (Don’t worry, you don’t need to call an intervention for me, the worst substance in my body this morning was caffeine). Ok, now combine that with the scene in Risky Business with Tom Cruise dancing around his house (only I wasn’t dancing in my tighty-whities, I was fully dressed thank you very much) and that was me! I dusted, vaccumed, scrubbed, cleansed, bleached, laundered, scoured…and took a break every so often to do my whirling dervish dance to a particularly great song. It was awesome. I haven’t had the drive/energy to do that in a long time. And I realized how out of shape I am! I’m pooped!

And I am looking forward to my guys coming home…crazycake hugs all around! But I am sure enjoying the solo time while it lasts! I’d kinda forgetten what it felt like!

Well, I’d like to say that nothing could rain on my parade this Mother’s Day, but the weather had other plans. It was still really fun though! I got to sleep in until 8 am, Decker took a nice long nap himself later that morning so I got to enjoy the Sunday paper and do the crossword at my leisure, and then that afternoon we thought we saw a possible break in the clouds, so we bundled up and headed over to Tilden for a walk in the hills. It was really wet by the time we got back in the car, but it was a good time all the same! Decker’s favorite part (and mine too) was when we stopped to change him and then let him run around in this grove of trees along the trail. He was oblivious to the elements, and having a great adventure feeling all the trees and looking around on the ground! Afterwards, we had dinner at my folks’ house so I could celebrate with my mom, and the traditional Mother’s Day meal of steak and strawberry rhubarb pie for dessert was sinfully good as always. Gotta love holiday meals!